Identity Shift
What does it mean to let go of an identity? This is a question I am facing as I transition from my solo creative practice from last semester to a group piece called Achtung!…Identity Crossing (2019) for my final thesis performance. The choreographic feedback I have received thus far from artists and teachers such as John Jasperse, Juliana May and Beth Gill is that I need to let go of my solo and recognize what the current identity of my group piece has become. Although the group work is based on ideas of duality, culture, language, code-switching that also inspired my solo last semester, the group work has evolved into a new complex matrix of different bodies, ideas, accents, and movement styles that don’t necessarily mirror my own. Instead of shying away from these differences, my goal is to lean into these complexities and figure out a way for everyone to experience the piece from their own perspective. I am struggling to define how exactly I want the dancers to feel and express themselves in the work…because I myself am still figuring it out.
What I know:
- The piece is about community and individuality – showing unison and separation through movement, lighting, spacing, and timing. Elements such as the unitards, multiple spoken languages, caution signs and rhythmic ticking unite the group and create an underlying undercurrent of cohesion within a greater choreographic structure.
- The work acknowledges cultural expectations and stereotypes (ie. German precision, efficiency, no-nonsense) and challenges them through serious performance of these characteristics. I am questioning what it means to “expose” these aspects of cultural norms and expectation on stage.
- The work aims to address the contemporary discourse on identity politics. I use personal experiences, memories, and emotions to demonstrate the tethering that occurs when associating with plural identities.
- The work isn’t just about me. It is about understanding how and why I am different through a dance making and research.
- I am still not as articulate as I want to be about the work… I need to think more deeply and reflect on the impact of the group performance.
I am not sure if I am letting go of my solo identity, but rather accepting myself as a part of the group. In fact, it feels like the perfect end to my thesis – the answer I’ve been searching for. Being a part of a group of people that also have experienced cultural code-switching from German to Swiss-German, English to French and French to German is precisely what I am trying to explain. Feeling physically fluid and simultaneously trapped by society. Choreographically I am letting go of elements of my solo from last semester in the sense that I’ve eliminated the dripping clothing, the transition into the brown dress, the intimate conversation between me and my Oma playing as I seem to lose control. However, I have moved on from these experiences and found community in the process of letting go. I’ve gained three moving bodies experiencing the in-betweeness and stuckness with me on stage. What more can I ask for?
