What does it mean to have a fragmented identity? Is it possible to be fragmented?
These are my questions after having performed my piece for various audiences over the past couple of weeks. As a performer, I do not feel fragmented, but my identity does have a multiplicity/plurality to it, which makes me feel as though I flow in and out of different identities. This concept of fluidity is a process that I am exploring right now in my writing for my MFA thesis.
What did I do?
Showing and sharing my work for the first time was exciting. I really enjoyed the experience of actually living in the moment on stage and noticing myself engage with the content of the piece in “real” way. It felt very autonomous to be so present on stage, like I could curate the perception of myself for the audience in the moment. I think it is exciting to share something so personal (identity) in such a public way (performance), which makes me think about my boundaries between public and private spaces. Is intimacy related to privacy?
Where do I go now?
Now that I am in a period of reflecting and writing about my experience performing Wildschwein (2018), I feel like I have space to re-imagine the work in a new way. I might end up wrecking my piece and creating a 2.0 version in which individuals (more performers) take on the structure and the theatrical elements of the first version. This makes me feel like I don’t need to start over from scratch, but that I can excavate and dive into the materials I already have in order to see where they lead me. Next semester I will be working with more dancers. I am interested in keeping my solo as an element of the work, but I am also interested in interspersing moments of “group-ness” into the piece.
Below are images of Wildschwein (2018) photographed by Ian Douglas
